Pastor Ronnie started the first week of his One-Eighty series by saying that in the world we live in, there is little repentance. There is plenty of remorse, regret, plenty of guilt, even some shame. Sadly, all this usually stems from being caught, not from a feeling of having done something wrong.

By worldly definition, repentance is to feel regret for having done wrong. People can turn their lives around. They can feel bad about the direction their life has taken and reform. They can turn from an immoral life, drug or alcohol addiction, or any number of societal wrongs and take their lives in a different direction. But unless they turn toward God, they are still lost.  Without genuine repentance, there is no salvation.

By biblical definition, repentance is to have a change of mind and heart, turning away from sin toward God. It is taking steps to do what must be done in order to restore a right relationship with God. Most of us don’t want to hear what we need to do; we only want to hear what we want to hear. Doing things right sometimes mean not taking the shortcut, and all too often, we would rather not take the long way home. What we fail to realize is that shortcuts can cause us to travel more than twice the distance of the original journey, had we not strayed from the path.

I had almost 38 years’ worth of stuff built up when my heart was opened to the call of Jesus. The big sins, glaring like gaudy Las Vegas neon signs, came to mind immediately. I said my own little prayer and knew I was saved. Since I didn’t have a full grasp of what my new life really meant, I struggled with some things for quite some time. I knew Christians who drank, smoked & cursed yet seemed to live an okay life. I was raised Catholic and thought that was okay as long as you confessed, did your penance, and tried to do better.

I wanted to believe it was okay to keep doing certain things as long as I wasn’t committing one of the “Big 10.” Over time, the Holy Spirit convicted me about those things and others I would have never considered. I had to make major changes in my life, leaving behind friends and a way of living that I had known for years. I had to get out of the environment that in truth had held me a prisoner of sin for over 23 years.

Was I scared? You bet! I had to learn to walk the Christian walk, but weary from the chaos of my old life I was ready for the change. I was clueless but had a peace about it despite so many things that were undefined or uncertain with regard to my future. The only thing I knew for sure was that God was with me and everything would be okay.

My life today is nothing like it used to be. I don’t cuss and I inwardly cringe at even the socially acceptable words. A former TV junkie, I now hardly watch anything unless I have pre-screened it on pluggedin.com. I have respect for my body as a holy temple and thus clothe it appropriately, try to feed it with wholesome foods, and don’t pollute it with alcohol, tobacco or recreational drugs. Invite yourself over, go through our music, video and reading libraries, and peek in our closets and dresser drawers. You’ll be hard pressed to find anything offensive.

I did a 180° turn but I still have struggles. I am not yet perfect because I am still here on earth! I get irritated and fly off the handle easier than I should. I tend to be selfish. I have fears and pride issues. I like food way too much. Patience has never been my strong suit. Each day I lay these things down at the feet of Jesus because even when I’m doing my best I fail. I know that I have the strength of God to help me through it all.

Which brings us back to repentance. Yes, I have shameful things in my past, but they are my PAST – confessed, repented of, and forgiven. I turned from my sinful ways and toward God. I look to Him for answers every morning, because as our pastor said, you can’t reveal God’s will without God’s word. My favorite verse?

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me. I Corinthians 15:10 (NASB)

My present is a testimony to repentance, of the power of our God who is the only one who can truly turn a life around.

Almighty God, thank You for loving me. Thank You for sending your son Jesus to take my place on the cross. Thank You for the opportunity to repent of my willfully disobedient nature and receive your divine forgiveness. Help me to be aware of sin in my life, of anything that needs to be confessed so I can repent and restore fellowship with You.